I had a couple of UTMB stones to use so put my name in the hat again for 2023. I wasn't even fussed about the race but leaving it on a DNF doesn't sit well with me. I got in and decided this needed to be done. I needed to prove to myself I was better than this. I could go, finish and put UTMB to bed once and for all.
My return from injury was going well. I got through the Thames path 100 slowly but surely in horrendous conditions then had a really good run at the North Downs Way 100 but that only left me 4 weeks to UTMB. I wasn't going to let that phase me, I was sure I could recover enough to enable me to get round. I'm also trying to raise some cash for charity this year so that was extra incentive to get on with it.
The sun was absolutely baking, I was packed on the start line along with several thousand other runners and there was still over an hour to go. Someone snapped the tape holding us back from the elites and everyone surged forward. We had an hour standing nose to tail waiting for the clock to tick away. I had a rather annoying lady in front of me who thought jumping up and down, dancing and continuously grabbing her friend two rows back for selfies was fun. I felt stressed, hot, stressed and dehydrated. Mind you I had slightly too many local ales the night before which in hind sight wasn't my greatest move. The clock finally reached zero and we were off.
 |
| The red hot start line |
The start was manic, people pushing and shoving and me desperately trying to create a bit of space. If someone catches your heal and you lose a shoe it would be a nightmare. I mean a literal living nightmare. We ran out of town and immediately I backed off from the sub 7.30 min mile pace being laid down. The run to Les Houches is fairly flat and a good chance to settle in. I was sweating buckets and struggling to get my heart rate down. I saw Tony Trundley and some other Brits on the first climb, their cheers were a great thing. After the buzz of the start and seeing friends there was no taking away from the fact I wasn't feeling great. My heart rate was through the roof, sweating to saturation and my legs felt dead. The climb up the first hill seemed longer than I had remembered. It's roughly 4 miles of constant up with maybe 5000ft of climb from Les Houches. Upon reaching the the top we turned off to descend steep grassy banks. I felt I was holding back too much and putting too much strain on my quads so I let go a little and virtually sprinted down towards St. Gervais. I would pay for this later. It was getting pretty dark under the cover of the trees and headtorches were going on, I didn't want to fall so I put mine on too. St Gervais was buzzing with crowds. I would have usually bowled straight through but I needed to rest a bit and made sure I had plenty of fluid. Also the Voom bars I had brought as part of my nutrition weren't going to work. They were leaving my mouth dry after each square, far from ideal and they had to go. The organisation offered Naak products so I grabbed a bit of each and walked out of St. Gervais eating. Mind you it's hard to walk when a whole town is screaming for you to Go!
I was already having negative thoughts, I felt knackered, had nothing in my legs and was seriously considering dropping. All I could think was if I dropped at La Contamines its an easy out from there. Just a bus quick bus journey back to Cham. First of all I had to get there. St. Gervais is the lowest point on the course so it's just up from here. Luckily the run to the next checkpoint hasn't got much climb so time to settle in a bit. We were soon back on the trail and I was moving along ok. Slow but ok. Then in one swift action I went from running to being flat on my face. My foot had caught a root and I landed on solid rocky ground. My knees bore the brunt of this. I was helped to my feet and was telling everyone how fine I was but man that had hurt! I was winded and my right knee had taken a massive knock. I felt shook up but jogged on immediately. In the confusion I'd also managed to rip my number off. I was having a massive low point and we wasn't even 20 miles in. As I entered La Contamines I'd already decided I was carrying on. If nothing else I just wanted that feeling of leaving the CP I hadn't managed to leave 1 year previous. The checkpoint was heaving, people were pushing and shoving, the tables were three deep with runners. It was mental. I restocked with water and then started on the coke. UTMB have started using soda stream style coke that they make themselves and it is truly awful. I love normal coke on a run, cheap coke will do but this stuff wasn't pleasant at all! My nutrition had taken a hit with the Voom bars not working, the Naak bars weren't very palatable either but Naak do a apple and maple syrup puree which had a weird twang but this stuff would work. I was also having the soup that they offer which is really just a stock cube in water. It is incredibly salty which is good and they had plain pasta that you can put in it so it was a mini meal. My nutrition plan now was 1 Gu every hour which I was carrying, a puree every hour and bulk up with soup, pasta and coke. The amount of people was doing my head in, I went out the back of the Checkpoint to sort myself out. It was now getting cold so I put on my arm sleeves and wind gillet, I pinned my number back on and had a look at my knee. It was bleeding but it just looked like skin missing plus the knock it had taken. I decided against getting it cleaned up as I had wasted enough time. I walked out before I had chance to change my mind.
 |
| Mont Blanc |
I knew a massive climb lay ahead, I ran for the first few miles and there were supporters everywhere. They were screaming too, not just ringing a cowbell these people were loud! Then the trail suddenly rises this is the start of the climb to Col du Bonhomme. It was a clear night and I could see a snake of headlights far away and up to the sky. This is something I really don't like about the UTMB experience. You never feel alone, not just that but for the most part you are in a line of runners. The climb is relentless but luckily it is broken up by an aidstation at La Balme. It was now pretty cold and the higher we climbed the colder it got. By the time we reached the misty cloud it was freezing and windy. I put another layer on as the wind chill easily dropped below freezing. As we neared the top there was a guy just laying down. Everyone just passed him by. I had to stop and check on him and try and persuade him to move. He didn't understand me and looked like he had little intention of moving but he seemed ok. I left him, rejoined the conga and moved forward toward the summit. It was a massive relief to pass the Col and for a while the ground levelled but still climbed slightly through the mist to the highest point of Croix Bonhomme. Now I could descend and felt pretty strong finally reaching the 50k point at Les Chapieux.
I was feeling pretty strong after the extremely sketchy start and was running well through the night. My plan was to arrive in Courmayeur in around 15 hours. However as the night progressed my desire to quit came to the fore again and by day break all I could think about was getting to half way so I could pack it in. It was a nice over cast morning so the temps were cool which was a real bonus but my mind was playing games. As I started the descent into Courmayer I was battling with my self once more, searching for reasons to continue. Ultimately I needed to get this done. (a) It would leave me 2-1 with UTMB and there is no way I could leave it on a DNF so I'd have to go through everything again. (b)The disappointment would be crippling and ruin the rest of my holiday. (c)I'm trying to raise money for a charity and a dnf isn't worthy of donations. (d)I'd bought a t-shirt and a mug for €50 ffs! The reasons to quit just didn't stack up except I was tired and bruised. I'd already come half way (nearly), it wasn't going to be pretty but if I left the Courmayer aid station I knew I'd just plod on and get it done. I ran into town and into the aid station. I'd arrived in 15 hours 15mins so bang on target really. It was rammed and hot inside, I found a space on an already over subscribed picnic table and emptied my drop bag. I opened my giant can of monster and downed it. Shoes and socks off, clean feet and fresh socks. Clean t-shirt, hat and buff. Restock gels and repack bag. It was obvious to me the next 100k was going to be slow so there was little point wasting time in here so I dumped my bag and set about re-fuelling, I still wasn't up to eating much but some soup and coke would be enough to get me on my way. I stood around just looking at the food but it wasn't going to happen, I needed to move on, commit to finishing and get out of here.
It was really quite hot and I knew this next climb up to Refuge Bertone was a tough one. I got my head down and cracked on. Funnily enough the Spanish lady from the start line had been on my table in the checkpoint and a guy who was obviously her crew had been helping her out. Well that man was now her pacer, I'm not sure how that works. As the climb wore on I happened to bump into John Knapp who was out hiking before his Tot Dret start in a few days. It was a real lift to see him although I was in a bad way. I was unable to hike up without having a break every other switch back. We chatted briefly before I pushed on. I reached Bertone and sighed a relief as from here there is a beautiful undulating section to Refuge Bonatti. You run along the hillside with the beautiful mountains off to one side. It is lovely. My running wasn't a thing of beauty and I was really slowing. I felt like I had no power in my legs and my quads were shot. I jogged along as it was fairly flat but the trail was super busy with hikers. I passed Bonatti and had it in my head that it was the big climb up Grand col Ferret now but no you have to drop down to Arnouvaz first. As I set off I knew this was a biggy and prepared myself mentally for the massive climb. It was relentless and took me ages. It does slightly flatten at the top and you can see the orange tent at the top from a fair distance away. I was exhausted though, my legs were wobbly and weak at the top. I think the altitude has a bad effect on your legs, the reduced oxygen just weakens you so much.
I wandered through the Col and the prospect of a 6 mile descent hit me. First off was La Fouly which is about 4 mile downhill. I really struggled all the way down and my legs were so weak and time was ebbing away. A quick pit stop and off I went again. I couldn't really remember the next bit but its a long steady descent before a climb to Champex lac. The descent is lovely and at the bottom there is a pretty village where luckily I had the fore sight to fill my bottles in the village because there is no checkpoint down there before another big climb. The climb to Champex lac is about 3 miles and by the top I was very tired. The light was fading now and although I wasn't really suffering with sleep demons I was starting to have problems with my thought process. At points I didn't really know what was going on and the course had confused me. I only remembered 3 big climbs to finish but that didn't include the climb I'd just done.
 |
| Checking the damage at half way |
I left Trient very quickly, it was the only way to make any decent time although I was fairly sure I could get round under 40 hours still. Again I saw a crew member getting ready to pace a couple of runners. Bold as brass. I was slightly annoyed but really not my problem my concern was to get to Vallorcine. After a short flatish section the trail becomes very steep and for the first time I thought I might have a nap. I sat on a log and put my face in my hands, I closed my eyes for about 30 seconds and just jumped back up and carried on hiking. I actually wasn't as sleepy tired as I thought, probably just as well to crack on and get this climb done. The last one had taken about 4 hours to get up and over and this one was probably about the same if a little more. I was unable to run down at all now so the route down to Vallorcine was so slow. I was having this weird sensation of mild hallucinations and talking French to myself although I can't really speak French. I also felt someone was with me not in person but kind of in spirit. It was so strange even to the point I'm struggling to explain it. It was as though someone was there and we were chatting but I knew no one was physically there. Weird! Vallorcine was relatively quiet when I arrived and the conga had dispersed a bit.
With just one climb to go it was best I hurried on. Vallorcine was not how I remembered it at all. I was having real concentration issues now but I seemed to remember just going straight up from the checkpoint but this wasn't the case. We went along the foot of the hills for what seemed miles and because the field had spread a bit I was having a real issue with where I was, where I was going and what I was doing. For a long period I thought it was a party I was holding and all the other runners were here for my party but I just couldn't work out why we weren't together. Every so often I would snap out of it and say aloud that I was in a race, I was going in the right direction and everything was fine. After what seemed an age of going along the foot of the hills we started going up. It was now daylight after two nights out and I pushed the hiking as hard as I could but after a while we started to descend again. It was a horrible descent to all roots and rocks. My legs were so blown it took me absolutely ages to negotiate this section. I was proper pissed off, I just couldn't move at any pace at all. As we rejoined another made trail we started climbing again. We finally left the trees and I could see Flegere at the top of the slope. A final push up the rocky path and we were at the summit and final aid station. It was about 39 hours now and had I been able to run I may have broke 40 hours but instead I shuffled and walked for the next hour and a half just to reach the bottom. Finally I reached the town but my legs were screaming, my feet were so sore I could barely walk and I was fatigued badly. It took everything I had to jog slowly into town and past all the crowds. Tony was there to cheer me on which was great and I rounded the last corner before jogging up the final straight and over the line. It was done in 40:47:22.
 |
| The end. |
I sat in the hot sun and had a cold beer. I was relieved it was over and couldn't wait to have a nap which I did soon after my beer. I lay on the grass outside bag drop and grabbed 20 minutes. Heaven.
I'm very hard on myself when it comes to races, if everything goes well and I perform to the best of my ability I'm happy but when everything goes tits up regardless of the result I can't help but be disappointed. Both times I've finished UTMB I've had a rough time. I think the altitude has a lot to do with that. The lack of oxygen just weakens me and my muscles. I specifically work my quads out every week and they usually hold up but both times at UTMB they have blown. I'm writing this 10 days post race and my right quad still feels dead if I try and run. Also I was really lucky to get away with the fall I had. My knee took the full force of it. That was so close to being a race ender, again 10 days later and it still feels pretty weird when I run. There is no taking away it is a bloody hard race and I did do the NDW 4 weeks previous so you kind of reap what you sow. On the plus side my Plantar behaved, it was like a tightened bow string by the end but it behaved. Considering after UTMB last year one physio told me my running days were over I'm happy to prove that theory wrong. Although I'm not happy with my time and how the rest of my body held up I am happy it's done because I'm not going back. 2-1 and done!
As for the whole UTMB juggernaut I think I'm done with that too. I love Chamonix week and will definitely return but not to run. I don't like the idea of commercial running organisations taking over. Its becoming less about the runners and running and more about how much money can be made from runners and running. There are a few organisations that I avoid and the UTMB grand finals has just joined that list. Plus I think I just like slightly more low key stuff. The crowds for the whole race completely done my head in. The start, the busy aid stations and the conga on the trail are all things I dislike. I've run races where I haven't seen another person for over 50 miles and finished races where the only two people at the finish are you and the Race director. I like that sort stuff.
